before i come here to study, i'm starting to think of those 'What if..' questions. this conversation is in my head. and those are not even the optimistic thoughts like what if I study hard now and get better results and get bombastic career and be rich? whoah! :O ...finally i walk to the study table, sit, open the book and study.
instead, it's more like what if i go to Egypt and i can't cope and i fail? well that's the exact 'What if..' question I've been thinking actually. huh...
i know i shouldn't be thinking like that, seeing the glass as half empty but i am.. and how stupid it is, i've started to have two sides of me arguing with each other. i'll be lying on bed staring at the ceiling, while the two sides of me arguing and I'll end up stressing out, closing my face with a pillow or whatever depends on how the arguing ended. =_='
Pessimistic: what if i go to Egypt and fail?
Optimistic: you shouldn't be thinking of what if, Seha. mainan syaitan tu..
Me: yea... true..
Pessimistic: i'm just thinking of the possibilities though.. lagipun apa pula mainan syaitan? syaitan kan sekarang kena ikat? (time ni bulan puasa)
Optimistic: =_='
Me: optimistic, say something..
Optimistic: jangan fikir begitu.. jangan kalah sebelum bejuang..
Pessimistic: ya, nanti jadi macam dulu time bahas time form 3. kahkah..
Me: shut up pessimistic! x(
Pessimistic: kalau gagal even satu paper maknanya kena repeat another year. ANOTHER YEAR! Maknanya umur brapa la baru abis belajar tu? Haha
Me: ee takutnya.. ta mau gagal..
Optimistic: jangan la gagal. belajar rajin-rajin.. :)
Pessimistic: ceh, padahal otak bekarat. study biology pun tekapai-kapai, apalagi study medic nanti.
Me: ARGH TAKUT!!!
Optimistic: kalau orang rajin, kalau orang berusaha, Allah mesti tolong.. Allah sudah janji. nothing to worryla Seha... it's up to you. either you win or you lose, you are the one that choose it.
Pessimistic: seha, itu kalau gagal satu kali. orang cakap kalau gagal kali kedua ka ketiga, out from medik terus. naaa...
Me: gulp. namauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
Optimistic: Seha!! (start nada marah). tau apa tu perkataan tawakal? have faith on Allah. Allah will help you. bear this in mind, ALLAH - WILL - HELP - YOU! as long as you too want to help yourself. sudah! pergi baca Quran..
P/S: Me, Pessimistic, Optimistic, semuanya orang yang sama. n gagal sekali bukan beerti gagal selama-lamanya kan. once you fail, you should get up and keep on fighting. that's what Allah want us to do. because life isn't all that easy guys. even to get Allah's heaven is hard.may Allah bless :)
