a note of love to all my single girlfriends

Assalamualaikum.. i found this on fb. Just wanna share it to all of you. Hope you'll like it just like i do.

Last night my husband & I went for grocery shopping and we bought not-so-glamorous stuffs for the house like floor cleaner, cooking oil & rice; and then it struck me that we’re so married! Hehe... Alhamdulillah… It got me thinking of the things that I would do instead last night if I was still single; and it reminds me of my single friends who (I assume) like me once – waiting, hoping & looking for Mr. Right. Yes, I was all that, waiting, hoping & looking, and now when Allah sends my husband to me, for me, it happened so quickly, so fast, we were married within two-and-a-half months after the first day we laid eyes on each other! How did it happen? It’s Allah’s decree, no doubt. Alhamdulillah..

Before I deep-dive further into my marriage, I feel that I need to do my part to share with you bits and pieces of advice on the journey of finding ‘the one’. Please take this from my own experience and observation and it is not anyway to be treated like 'the checklist', but I think it will help insyaAllah.

#1 – Be Fair

A friend of mine told me that ‘we’ll get who we deserve’, and many years later I realized and come to my wisdom that it’s true; and to me, it’s even written in the Quran that: “…women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity is for women of purity” – Qur’an 24:26. So ladies, before we list down our criteria in a man that we’re looking for, like “Dia mestilah seorang yang bertanggung jawab, beriman & menghormati orang tua etc., do reflect again are we all that in the first place? Are we responsible? Are we pious? Are we respectful to the elders?

#2 – Hook Up with Allah & Allah will Hook You Up

We are Muslims. And we know that Allah is the Creator and He holds our future, our life. And only from Him we could be guided to find the one, the right one, the good one. So do check out this great article on the explanation of Hook Up with Allah & Allah will Hook you Up. I hold this concept true to my heart during my single days and hopefully you'll find it beneficial too insyaAllah.

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/hook-up-with-allah-allah-will-hook-you-up/

#3 – Be Proactive

When a few other friends and I were single, we are inspired by the story of our Mother of the Believers, Khadijah Binti Khuwailid r.a. There is an article on it, which is “Just Because Khadijah Ask” and one of the excerpts in the article says:

“Khadijah asked. Khadijah, may Allah’s Mercy be upon her, asked about Prophet Muhammad for marriage. She initiated the communication. She sent someone on her behalf to find out if he was available for marriage. And it was because she asked, that she got that blessed answer. And with that answer, was the beginning of the greatest stories of love for all times, and also one of the greatest examples of a true muhsina and mumina. A woman older than him, previously married with children, was inquiring about a younger bachelor, from one of the best tribes in town.  The honor of his acceptance wasn’t just hers alone. It was his too. He was going to marry one of the most beautiful hearts in all of Mecca. A woman who’s heart would sacrifice everything she had to support him, and Islam. Khadijah asked.”

Check out this website for the article:

http://muslimmatters.org/2010/08/02/because-khadijah-asked-an-alternative-path-to-meeting-mr-right/

I’m not saying just get out there and ask any male passers-by if they’re single and looking; but be truthful to begin with. The next time your aunts asking you when you’re getting married?; instead of replying “I just want to focus on my career for now”, please remove your ego and say “I have not found one, why not you introduce me to someone Aunty? I am ready to settle down.” They will usually quickly think of someone for you, or the at least they will think of you when the next time any of her friends start asking for any single girls to marry their bachelor sons, and if that doesn't happen too, the very least they will stop asking you when and that will lift unnecessary pressure.

Besides that, be active in community service, environmental projects, language classes, or any halal activities of your interest. You’d tend to meet more people outside your regular circle of friends, and raise the possibilities of meeting the one; and best of all he will share the same interest as you. Sharing the same interest is always a good thing to begin with.

#4 – He will be the Father of Your Children

I went for a talk by Yunus Kathrada, he told us a story of a man who went to see a Syeikh to seek advice on his newborn child. Which is good to always seek advice, but the Syeikh responded to the man “It’s too late”. Why? The Syeikh said that the process of raising an excellent child begins even before we get married - by selecting a good spouse to begin with. I have heard stories about girl meets boy at Hard Rock Café, at Zouk nightclub and what else have we. I cannot say that couples met at all these places would be heading to a crappy marriage, but think about it. Don’t we all want a good beginning for our union that would bear us pious and righteous kids in the future?

For a very good lecture on this, it brought tears to my eyes. Allahuakbar. Please YouTube search this: "Mufti Menk parent~child relationship"

Maybe what I'm trying to say also is, all human are born with a fitrah, an innate feeling of returning to the Almighty Allah. No matter how naughty we are at a point of our lives, at the back of our heads I'm sure we'll be thinking "I will repent and return to Allah one day". But, if girl meets boy at nightclub, and then they get married, years later the girl feels like she wants to get closer to Allah while the boy still would like to party; then we'll see a problem when the girl starts going to religious classes and want to go for Umrah, while her husband refuse to even pray his solat. Which of the parents will the children look up to and follow? Let's think far, and choose wisely.

Besides that, observe his temperament & his reaction towards children – the last thing you would want when you’re married with 3 kids crying in your arms, you ask for his help with the kids and he says.. “You know right honey, me and kids just don’t gel”…

#5 – Eliminate, Banish Your Baggage

I believe there is wisdom for free-mixing and dating is haraam in Islam. We all know that GF-BF concept is superficial; we will never get to know the true color of someone until we live with them – day in, day out. If you are still not convinced that dating is haram, the are a lot of hadiths to prove it, but I will share one here that I feel so strong about:

It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” 

-Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.

Don't tell me people who "couple" and "date" don't even touch each other. Dating/couple/in a relationship is haram my dears. Fear Allah and seek for his help to give you strength to do the right thing.

And to me, the other ugly side of this “dating” relationship is, it does not always have the happy ending. I have heard stories of a bride crying on her wedding day when her ex-boyfriend called her up for a last good bye, some still can’t get over their exes even after having children; some still secretly get in touch with their exes just to ask “How have you been”?” subhanAllah… May Allah protect us from this.

If you still have issues or still cannot get over an ex, deal with it now. It will fog-up your path to find the one, and you will always have the shadow of your ex over your decision on moving on with another man. You would only want to have a vision of you and your husband and your kids in the future, and not the thought of “How would it be if I marry him instead?” Wise up, girls!

#6 – Be Selective, Not Picky

I believe there is a fine line between being selective and picky. To me, if you decline a proposal from a guy that is pleasing to the eyes, well mannered and has a stable income; but he smokes & you realized that he seldom attends Friday prayers, then yes you're being selective. But if you decline a proposal from a guy that is pleasing to the eyes, well mannered, has stable income, doesn't smoke, and is Allah-fearing, but he is a mommy's boy (or he's balding, or he has an interesting hobby of collecting dried leaves) then you're being picky.

Key thing to remember here “Deal Breaker”. If he has or lacks of certain pivotal quality/characteristic that you cannot live with/without then it is big reason not to marry him. For example, if you know you're a career driven person and have major career ambitions but your potential husband wants you to eventually quit your job to look after the kids then that's the “Deal Breaker”. But please do not confuse deal breaker with differences. For example, if you like to eat Japanese and hates Italian food but he cannot bear the thought of eating raw fish but loves pasta, this is not deal breaker. Both of your can still work around differences and it is silly to have a big fight over which restaurant to go have dinner. But “Deal Breakers” are something that could most likely put a strain in a marriage in which failing to manage could lead to divorce. See the significance?

However, please try not to overanalyze and being hypercritical. Another key thing to remember is: Nobody Is Perfect, and no sayang, not even you.

#7 – Be Ready to Give (Up)

Marriage is not all about sex. It's not all about him showering you with endless love and affection. It's not all about cuddling & curling up together in the bed every night. Yes, it is all that, but it is not all and everything about that. It's not all about you! Marriage needs sustenance, and it does not come for free, you need to work for it. You need to give. Just like how we expect our men to know manly stuffs like how to change the car tyre when it punctures or know to repair a leaking pipe or how to assemble a DIY baby cot; I'm sure men would also expect the wives to know womanly stuffs like how to cook, how to do laundry properly and perhaps iron man's work clothes.

Of course most of us could say that it's the modern world now, women don't need to know how to cook and clean and that we can get a maid to do all that. But would you really want to get a maid to cook your husband's meals & iron your husband's work shirts? I know it's easier said than done, but who say that to maintain a happy marriage is effortless & easy?

Ready to give, includes being ready to give up. Do you have male friends who you often hang with, or who to you “we're just friends?” or “we've been friends for so long he's like a brother to me”? Guess what? After you're married, I would need to advice you to give them up like a bad habit. I know along the years we have made so many friends including guy friends, but once we're married we CANNOT hang out with them anymore. I am not saying we cannot be friends anymore, but it is with loads of limitation. I trust that you would use your wisdom on how to draw the line. Even though you future husband is the “coolest” guy on earth (and Allah forbids) he allows you hang out with any of your guys friends, once you're being seen by other people hanging out with another guy other than your husband, you've lit a spark for fitnah and speculation which will spread like wildfire. Imagine a neighbour saw you walking with your male friend at a mall, and she tells your mother in-law. High voltage drama huh?

Trust. Could take years to build, but only a minute to destroy.

#8 - It's Him Not His Money

So, he drives a BMW and earns RM20k a month? OR So, he drives his father's first car and don't really have a proper job? BUT I say So what?

Often times girls will look for a man that is wealthy and rich - that's completely common. Its a biological and psychological thing. We need look for men that can "hunt & gather" to provide security, shelter and food to take care of us and our young. It's a survival thing.

However, either he is rich or broke; he is actually rich or broke NOW. Who are we to say that their wealth will be there forever, or that they will earn very little money for lifetime? The key point to stress, is his deen (iman) & character. Does he have the right knowledge and iman to guide you and your young. Does he have maturity and good character to endure the challenges of the world and maried life? They say money is the #1 cause of divorce nowadays. But do you think it's the money or how the married couple deal and manage when they're stuck in a situation that involves money?

I am not saying, go into marriage blindly but please use your wisdom and not your desire. He may not have much today, but if you see that he has the willpower to work hard to earn a better living and you believe with all your heart that Allah is All Provider, insyaAllah you'll be fine.

For me, during the ta'aruff (introduction meeting) with my then-not-yet-husband, I asked him about his education. To me and maybe to a lot of parents education is key. Personally, I don't mind if he is a burger flipper at Ramly Burger (he's not by the way), but if he has a qualification, or a degree or something, insyaAllah he has something to fall back on. I didn't ask him about how much he's earning or anything like that, because it's not important to me. Have faith in Allah that He is The All Provider.

From Umar ibn Al-Khattab from the Prophet (sas) who said:

"If only you relied on Allah a true reliance, He would provide sustenance for you just as He does the birds: They fly out in the morning empty and return in the afternoon with full stomachs."

Ahmad, An-Nasaa’I, Ibn Majah, Al-Hakim and At-Tirmidhi who said: "Hassan sahih"

#9 – Know the Rights of Husband & Obligations of Wife, Vice Versa.

A lot of us dreams of getting married one day to wear nice dress on the wedding day. But after the wedding day is over a whole new world of responsibilities await you and him. Both husband and wife has a list of responsibilities within the Islamic guidelines. Read them up, study them. By abiding to this guidelines, almost certainly we can maintain a happy marriage by the will of Allah.

But often, during tense and trying times the husband and wife would usually accuse each other of not full filling his/her rights. For example the husband would say “You should beautify yourself for me and not look like a mess at home!”; and the wife would say something like “You're supposed to provide a home for us, but we been living with your housemate for months now!”

A key guideline to this is to prioritize your obligations as a wife and to respect the rights of the husband. And vice versa of course. Know your obligations, what you should do, your responsibilities BEFORE thinking about your rights, his obligations, what he should do and his responsibilities.

So now.. can you manage to fulfill all your obligations? Are you such a strong-headed person that would be able to listen to your husbands advice? Do you have the right attitude to be kind to your husband? Do you still think that after you're married you can do whatever you want and allow anybody into your house without your husband's permission? What would you do if you have a long tiring day at work but you need to fulfill your husband's physical desire? Do you have the right motivation to beautify yourself (at home) to be pleasing to his eyes with your appearance? Basically, do we have the right mindset to strive to be a good wife? Or do we still think it's all about me, me, me?

Please ponder on this hadith:

Qays ibn Sa'd Narrated: I went to al-Hirah and saw them (the people) prostrating themselves before a satrap (governor of a province in ancient Persia) of theirs, so I said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) has most right to have prostration made before him. When I came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), I said: I went to al-Hirah and saw them prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, but you have most right, Apostle of Allah, to have (people) prostrating themselves before you. He said: Tell me , if you were to pass my grave, would you prostrate yourself before it? I said: No. He then said: Do not do so. If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah. [Hadith: Sunan Abu Dawud, 11:2135]

Heavy. I know... :(

But marriage is such a pure & beautiful thing that if we fulfill every obligations for the sake of Allah, we shall be rewarded for every effort insyaAllah.

Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, “If a woman prayed five prayers, fasted in Ramadan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its(eight) doors.”

insyaAllah...Yeay!! :D

#10 – It is the Marriage, Not the Wedding

I think we heard countless times that engaged couples are putting off marriage because they do not have enough money to hold the wedding. If you're imagining a wedding with rotating wedding cake, nasi minyak lobster menu, tents decorated with thousands of tulips from Amsterdam, haute couture Vera Wang wedding dress and French Riviera honeymoon (ok, I'm exaggerating here but you get the picture) - then no wonder why you need to put off your wedding.

But my dears, it's really not all about the wedding. Some of my friends asked me whether it was the happiest day of my life; I had a little trouble answering that because leading after the wedding is what matters more to me. The whole lifetime with this person that you should treat him as part of you; and build a family with children whom are the coolness of our eyes. InsyaAllah.. and that thought itself could make one very happy.

It's not about the wedding stuffs. I remember people who attended my wedding and the precious moments. How I was overwhelmed with emotions when my dad hugged me tightly before the akad nikah & my mom whispered "you'll always be my baby" during the akad nikah ceremony. And the happiest thing I could remember on my wedding day was holding his hand for the very first time. That was surreal, I loved it so much. See? I don't remember much about the wedding stuffs; although they're really nice - the dress, the pelamin, the bunga telur, Alhamdulillah, but I don't remember that time and again.  I always have this theory, the longer it takes to prepare a wedding the harder it gets to let the wedding itself go... After 1 year (or even more) of preparing, it will all be over in 2 days, and you'd go.. "That's it? That's The wedding?" So please, once you have met the right person to marry, go ahead with it – quickly.

Some really good books on preparing yourselves for marriage, I would recommend:

1. The Muslim Family Series by Muhammad Mustafa al-Jibaly

2. The Ideal Muslimah by Dr. Muhammad Ali Al Hashimi

Can get them from Dakwah Corner Bookstore -  http://www.dakwahbookstore.com.my

Some really good speakers I love listening to (YouTube them):

1. Mufti Menk

2. Nouman Ali Khan

3. Mussab Wadji Akkari

So there you go. A little note of love from the quite newly married me to all my single sisters. I always make du'a for Allah to hasten the jodoh for all my single sisters with a pious and great men who will be the coolness of their eyes. Please make loads of du'a for yourselves too. Never lose hope in the mercy of Allah.  “Hook up with Allah and Allah will hook you up”, remember? :)

A wife is like a gift to a man. And there is a hadith that goes like this:

"This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is righteous women.” - Sahih Muslim 10/56.

So prepare yourself to be a gift (and not a test) to your future husband, so that one day he will hold you and look lovingly in your eyes and say “Alhamdulillah”.

~END~

Do share if you feel this would benefit others, insyaAllah.

Please make doa for Allah to shower me & my family with His mercy and keep us steadfast on the right path. Ameen..

the difference between a Queen and a Muslimah

Here Are Some Common Points Between A Hijabi Muslimah And A Queen :-

◕ Both Are Dressed Modestly:-

A Queen Dresses Modestly Because It’s Obligation For Her To Do So.

A Hijabi Muslimah Dresses Modestly Because She Is Obeying Her Lord.

◕ Both Have High Status :-

A Queen’s Status Is Raised The Moment She Inherits Her Title And Crown.
A Hijabi Muslimah’s Status Is Raised The Moment She Puts Her True Crown (Hijab) To Please Her Lord.


◕ Both Should Not Shake Hands With Everyone :-

There Are Only Certain People Who Can Shake Hands With Queen.
A Hijabi Muslimah Don’t Shake Hands With Strange Men (Non Mahram).

◕ Both Are Respected :-

They Bow Down In The Presence Of A Queen.
True Muslim Men Lower Their Gaze On The Presence Of Muslimah.


◕ Both Are Proud :-

A Queen Is Proud With Her Bloodline.
A Hijabi Is Proud To Be A Muslimah.

◕ Both Are Important :-

A Queen Is Important In Creatures Eyes.
A Hijabi Muslimah, As An Obedient Servant Of ALLAH, Is Important In Her eyes.

BUT QUEEN WANTS PEOPLE TO OBEY HER.
BUT A MUSLIMAH SAYS: “IT IS ALLAH WHO IS TO BE OBEYED” & THIS IS WHERE A MUSLIMAH BECOMES FAR SUPERIOR THAN ANY QUEEN OF THE WORLD..

the hijab : myths and misconceptions

Myth: The hijab is the scarf that covers a Muslim woman’s neck and hair.
Truth: Hijab refers to modesty in actions and dress including covering the entire body except the face and hands, wearing loose-fitting clothing that does not emphasize the woman’s figure, and is not revealing in any way.

Myth: Women who wear hijab have been forced to do so.
Truth: Wearing hijab is a decision for women, one with deep religious meaning.

Myth: Hijab only refers to women.
Truth: The Islamic perception of hijab applies to men as well referring to the way in which they conduct themselves.

Myth: Muslim women must wear hijab at all times.
Truth: Muslim women must only wear hijab when in public places and in the company of men who are not immediate family (brothers-in-law, cousins, neighbors). Muslim women can wear makeup and uncovered hair in the presence of their family and men who they cannot marry within the Islamic faith (fathers, brothers, sons, grandfathers) or at occasions where only women are present.

Myth: The hijab is a traditional Arab custom.
Truth: The practice of modesty and coveting the woman’s hair is mandated by Islam, and is a religious, not a cultural practice. Covering the hair out of modesty is seen in other religions as well - Mary is often depicted with her head covered; nuns take the habit.

************

Poem about Hijab for my dear girlfriends :)

 You look at me and call me oppressed,
Simply because of the way I'm dressed,

You know me not for what is inside,
You judge the clothing I wear with pride,

My body is not for your eyes to hold,
You must speak to my mind, not my feminine mould,

I'm an individual. I'm no man's slave,
It's Allah's pleasure that I only crave,

I have a voice so I will be heard,
For in my heart I carry His word,

"O ye women, wrap close your cloak,
So you won't be bothered by ignorant folk".

Man doesn't tell me to dress this way,
It's law from God that I obey,

Oppressed is something I'm truly not,
For liberation is what I've got,

It was given to me many years ago,
With the right to prosper, the right to grow,

I can climb mountains or cross the seas,
Expand my mind in all degrees,

For God Himself gave us liberty,
When He sent Islam, to you and me!

sahabat dan cinta

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang. Demi Tuhanku yang diriku di bawah penguasaan-Nya dan sentiasa dalam pengawasan-Nya, aku tidak menulis melainkan untuk mengabdikan diri kepada-Nya dan dengan izin-Nya. Sesungguhnya aku menulis dengan penuh kasih sayangku kepadamu sebagai seorang sahabat, sebagai seorang saudara seagamaku. Aku tidak inginkan melainkan kebaikan bagi dirimu dan bagi diriku agar kita sama-sama beroleh syurga yang sangat kita impikan di pengakhiran sebuah perhitungan.

Wahai sahabatku,

Cinta itu letaknya di hati dan hati itu milik Allah. Tidak mungkin kita dapat menyentuh hati seseorang tanpa izin Allah dan jika Allah tidak mengkehendaki. Tidak patut kita serahkan hati kita yang dimiliki Allah itu kepada orang lain untuk dikuasai atau diperintah. Bahkan memang sepatutnya kita serahkan jiwa dan raga kita seluruhnya kepada Allah, yakni pencipta hati kita. Adapun rasa cinta yang lahir sesama manusia itu hanya jalan menuju cinta Allah. Janganlah sekali-kali kita menukarkan tujuan cinta di hati yang sepatutnya untuk Allah kepada manusia hanya kerana kita dapat melihat kecantikan manusia dan kita tidak dapat melihat Allah, kita cuma merasa dan melihat kecantikan segala ciptaan-Nya. Kita lupa dan selalu tidak sedar hakikat segala kecantikan itu adalah milik Allah. Jadikanlah cinta kepada manusia itu sebagai jalan menuju Tuhan, bukan matlamat dan pengakhiran destinasi cinta. Maka engkau akan lebih tenang menerima segala penolakan.

Wahai sahabatku, 

Hati kita meronta untuk mencintai dan dicintai. Alangkah remuk redamnya hati tatkala apa yang kita cintai tidak kita miliki. Alangkah kecewanya jiwa tatkala cinta kita tidak dibalas oleh orang yang kita cintai. Ternyata hati itu bukan milik kita, ia milik Allah. Kita tidak bersalah tatkala cinta itu lahir terhadap seseorang, tetapi kita keterlaluan tatkala kita memaksa ia kepada seseorang. Bukankah sepatutnya kita redha dengan ketentuan Allah yang tidak menumbuhkan cinta terhadap kita di hati orang yang kita cintai? Alangkah zalimnya kita tatkala kita tidak dapat menerima apa yang telah ditetapkan oleh Allah. Sedangkan saban hari kita sering tidak menghargai cinta Allah, kita tidak pula membalas segala anugerah cinta yang Allah berikan kepada kita pada setiap hembusan nafas, pada setiap detik kehidupan yang kita lalui. Bukankah Allah lebih layak untuk murka kepada kita kerana kita tidak membalas-Nya dengan ketaatan yang sepatutnya?

 

Wahai sahabatku,

Allah menjanjikan lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik. Yakinlah akan janji Allah, sesungguhnya Allah tidak memungkiri janji. Perbaikilah setiap inci kehidupanmu agar engkau termasuk di kalangan orang yang beroleh pasangan yang baik. Allah tahu tentang dirimu lebih daripada engkau sendiri. Maka Allah telah menetapkan untukmu lebih baik daripada apa yang engkau kehendaki. Boleh jadi engkau cintakan sesuatu tetapi ia buruk bagimu dan begitu juga sebaliknya. Pada setiap persimpangan kehidupanmu, apakah engkau merasakan bahawa Allah tiada bersamamu? Bahkan Dia sentiasa mendengar dan melihatmu. Persoalannya, apakah engkau sudah merintih pada-Nya, meminta pada-Nya dan memperlihatkan apa yang sepatutnya kepada–Nya? Aku berlindung dengan Allah daripada menjadi hamba yang kufur dan lupa diri.

Wahai sahabatku,

Sungguh cinta itu telah menjadi faktor yang dapat mengubah sesuatu kepada lebih baik atau sebaliknya. Ada manusia biasa yang berubah menjadi wali kerana kuasa cinta, dan ada pula yang bisa menjadi hina kerana dikuasai cinta. Ya, tamadun itu berkembang dan boleh jadi hancur kerana cinta. Tidakkah engkau melihat Taj Mahal yang terbina kerana cinta? Sebaliknya, ada pula yang membunuh kerana cinta. Persoalanku kepadamu, apakah engkau ingin berubah kerana cinta ke arah redha Allah atau mungkin lebih jauh daripada Allah?

Wahai sahabatku,

Aku tidak mengatakan bahawa aku mengetahui segala isi hatimu atau segala kekacauan yang mengisi jiwamu. Aku cuma ingin berpesan agar engkau tidak meletakkan keinginanmu lebih tinggi daripada ketentuan Allah. Aku ingin engkau mengerti bahawa milik Allahlah segala kejadian. Kemudiannya, aku ingin engkau membawa kefahaman tersebut kepada pengamalan dalam kehidupan yang kau lalui agar ia hidup bersamamu di dalam setiap inci kehidupanmu. Janganlah engkau mengatakan bahawa engkau mentaati Allah di saat hidupmu bergelumang dengan jahiliah. Aku juga sepertimu, anak muda yang bergelora jiwanya. Maka aku berpesan kepadamu agar aku juga dipelihara Allah daripada segala penyelewengan dalam memahami hakikat cinta. Aku memohon keampunan kepada Allah atas segala kesalahan yang kuungkapkan dan kumohon kau doakanlah kebahagiaanku di dunia dan di akhirat. Moga kita dipertemukan Allah untuk hidup di syurga yang kekal selama-lamanya.

Wahai sahabatku yang kecewa,

Bersabarlah… Allah tahu yang terbaik untukmu.

p/s; semoga sahabat yang seha sayangi baca post ini.. sungguh diri ini jauh, hanya mampu memujuknya dengan kata-kata dari hati seorang sahabat. yakinlah denganNya, insyaAllah semua baik-baik saja. may Allah bless us all! :) 

wanita pertama masuk syurga

Pada suatu hari, Rasulullah s.a.w membicarakan mengenai kenikmatan syurga dan orang-orang yang tinggal di dalamnya. Lalu baginda ditanya oleh Fatimah r.a., "siapakah wanita pertama masuk ke syurga?" Maka baginda pun menjelaskan: "Wahai anakanda! Wanita pertama yang akan masuk ke syurga ialah Mutiah. Dia hanyalah perempuan biasa dan kehidupannya amat sederhana."

 

Mendengar kata-kata Rasulullah itu maka air muka puteri Rasulullah itu terus berubah. Lalu dikatakanya kepada ayahandanya : "Lantas, siapakah wanita itu wahai ayahandaku? Macamana halnya dan bagaimana amalannya sehingga dia dapat terlebih dahulu masuk ke syurga daripada anakanda?". Lalu Rasulullah menyarankan puterinya itu untuk menziarahi rumah wanita tersebut yang terletak di Jabal Uhud.

Saidatina Fatimah kemudian keluar untuk mencari wanita yang dikatakan akan masuk ke syurga terdahulu daripadanya itu. Setibanya di rumah wanita tersebut, beliau pun mengetuk pintu rumah tersebut. Wanita dari dalam rumah keluar sambil bertanyakan hajat kedatangannya, tetapi tidak pula dijemput Saidatina Fatimah masuk ke dalam rumahnya.

Saidatina Fatimah menyatakan bahawa kedatanganya adalah untuk berjumpa dan berkenalan denganya. Wanita itu menjawab : "Terima kasih puan. Tetapi saya tidak dapat membenarkan puan masuk kerana suami saya tiada di rumah. Nanti saya minta izin daripadanya apabila dia balik. Silalah datang pada esok hari."

Saidatina Fatimah pulang ke rumah dengan perasaan sedih dan hampa kerana tidak dapat bercakap panjang dengan wanita itu. Keesokan harinya, Saidatina Fatimah datang lagi bersama dengan anaknya Hassan.

Sebaik sahaja tiba di rumah itu, wanita dari dalam rumah tersebut membuka pintu. Namum belum sempat Saidatina Fatimah dipersilakan masuk, wanita tersebut terlihat anak lelaki puteri Rasulullah itu turut ada bersama, lantas wanita tersebut melarang Fatimah untuk menjejak masuk ke dalam rumahnya. Saidatina Fatimah menjelaskan bahawa kanak-kanak lelaki tersebut adalah anak lelaki nya, Hassan. Lalu wanita tersebut berkata : "Maaf puan, saya meminta izin daripada suami saya hanya untuk puan sahaja masuk, tidak termasuk budak lelaki ini sekali."

Saidatina Fatimah serba salah, kerana jikalau hendak pulang ke rumah semula jauh. Hendak masuk ke rumah wanita tersebut, tidak mendapat keizinan dari wanita tersebut. Akhirnya Saidatina Fatimah pun mengambil keputusan untuk pulang ke rumah juga.

Keesokan harinya, Saidatina Fatimah datang lagi dengan membawa kedua-dua puteranya Hassan dan Hussein. Namun, kehadiran Saidatina Fatimah kali ini benar-benar membuatkan wanita itu terkejut besar apabila mendapati ada seorang lagi budak lelaki yang belum diminta keizinan dari suaminya untuk masuk. Saidatina Fatimah terpaksa pulang dengan hampa untuk kali yang ketiga.

Setelah si suami pulang, wanita itu memberitahu tentang kehadiran puteri Rasulullah bersama-sama dengan cucu baginda sekali iaitu Hassan dan Hussein. Si suami sangat terkejut dan berkata : "Kenapa awak tidak membenarkan mereka masuk? Bukankah Saidatina Fatimah itu puteri Rasulullah s.a.w dan dua orang anaknya itu cucu Rasulullah? Sepatutnya awak membenarkan ,mereka masuk, kerana keselamatan kita berdua kelak bergantung kepada keredhaanya (Rasulullah s.a.w). Selepas ini, jika mereka datang ke sini lagi dengan membawa apa pun siapa pun, terimalah dengan sebaik-baiknya dan hormatilah mereka dengan sebagaimana yang patut bagi darjat mereka."

Kemudian wanita itu menjawab: "Baiklah. Tetapi ampunkanlah kesalahan saya kerana saya mengerti bahawa keselamatan diri saya ini bergantung pada keredhaan awak."

Pada keesokan harinya, Saidatina Fatimah datang semula ke rumah tersebut dengan membawa kedua-dua anaknya. Mereka dilayan dengan sewajarnya dan mereka memulakan perbualan. Tiada apa yang menarik perhatian Saidatina Fatimah tentang perempuan itu. Sedang asyik berbual-bual, tiba-tiba wanita tersebut bangun dan segera mempersiapkan dirinya. Dengan penampilan mengghairahkan, wanita itu berdiri di muka pintu rumahnya sambil memandang ke arah jalan seolah-olah sedang menanti kedatangan seseorang. Di sebelah tangannya memegang tongkat dan sebelah lagi memegang segelas air minuman. Wanita itu juga menyingsingkan kainnya dengan hujung jarinya sehingga menampakkan betis dan sedikit pehanya beserta wajah tersenyum manis.

Wanita itu langsung tidak menghiraukan Saidatina Fatimah, seolah-olah beliau tidak ada di dalam rumah tersebut. Fatimah berasa kurang senang dengan perlakuan wanita itu, lantas Fatimah bertanya kepada wanita dan inginkan penjelasan mengapa wanita tersebut berpenampilan sebegitu. Wanita itu mnjelaskan: "Puan, maafkan saya kerana tidak dapat melayan puan dengan sebaik-baiknya. Sebenarnya saya sedang menunggu suami saya yang akan pulang pada bila-bila masa sahaja dari sekarang."

Lantas Saidatina Fatimah bertanya : "Apa gunanya tongkat dan air minuman itu wahai saudari?". "Sekiranya suami saya dahaga sebaik sahaja sampai di rumah, saya akan segera menghulurkan minuman ini kepadanya. Tongkat ini pula untuk memudahkan dia untuk memukul saya sekiranya dia tidak berpuas hati terhadap layanan yang saya berikan kepadanya", jawab wanita itu. Saidatina Fatimah bertanya lagi: "Kenapa pula puan menyelakkan kain sehingga menampakkan aurat? Bukankah perbuatan seperti itu haram?"

Jawab wanita itu: "Jika dia berkehendakkan saya, lalu dia pandang saya begini, tentulah menambahkan nafsu syahwatnya yang memudahkan kepada maksudnya." Saidatina Fatimah mendengar penjelasan dari wanita itu dengan penuh hairan lantas berkata kepada dirinya sendiri : "Wanita pertama yang akan masuk ke syurga adalah Mutiah. Dia hanyalah seorang wanita biasa dan kehidupannya amat sederhana."

Fatimah pun pulang ke rumah dan terus menemui ayahandanya. Beliau berkata: "Anakanda berasa sungguh sedih kerana tidak dapat meniru dan mengamalkan tingkah laku yang ayahanda ceritakan padaku." Rasulullah s.a.w tersenyum mendengar rintihan Saidatina Fatimah. Faham dengan perasaan puterinya itu, Baginda lantas berkata: "Anakanda, janganlah terlalu bersusah hati. Wanita yang anakanda temui itu ialah wanita yang bakal memimpin dan memegang tali kenderaan tunggangan anakanda ketika masuk ke syurga. Sebab itulah dia masuk terlebih dahulu." Mendengar penjelasan itu barulah Saidatina Fatimah tersenyum kembali.

JANGAN dalam Islam

- JANGAN tidur selepas solat Subuh, nanti rezeki mahal kerana pagi-pagi itu membuka pintu berkat.

- JANGAN makan tanpa membaca BISMILLAH dan doa makan, nanti rezeki kita dikongsi dengan syaitan.

-JANGAN tambah perhiasan di badan kerana Allah sudah jadikan manusia makhluk yang paling sempurna.

- JANGAN keluar rumah tanpa niat untuk membuat kebaikan, takut-takut kita mati dalam perjalanan.

- JANGAN pakai sepatu atau selipar yang berlainan pasangan, ia makruh dan mewarisi kepapaan.

- JANGAN biarkan mata liar di perjalanan, nanti hati kita gelap diselaputi dosa.

- JANGAN menangguh taubat bila berbuat dosa kerana mati boleh datang bila-bila masa.

- JANGAN ego untuk meminta maaf pada ibu bapa dan sesama manusia kalau memang kita bersalah.

- JANGAN mengumpat sesama rakan taulan, nanti rosak persahabatan kita dan hilang bahagia.

- JANGAN lupa bergantung kepada ALLAH dalam setiap kerja kita, nanti kita sombong apabila berjaya dan kalau gagal tidak redha dan kecewa pula.

- JANGAN bakhil untuk bersedekah. Sedekah itu memanjangkan umur dan memurahkan rezeki kita.

- JANGAN banyak ketawa, nanti mati jiwa.

- JANGAN biasakan berbohong, kerana ia adalah ciri-ciri munafik dan menghilangkan kasih orang kepada kita.

- JANGAN suka menganiaya manusia atau haiwan. Doa makhluk yang teraniaya cepat dimakbulkan ALLAH.

- JANGAN terlalu susah hati dengan urusan dunia. Akhirat itu lebih utama dan hidup di sana lebih lama dan kekal selamanya.

- JANGAN mempertikaikan kenapa ISLAM itu berkata JANGAN. Sebab semuanya untuk keselamatan kita.

p/s; 8 Mac – Selamat Hari Wanita buat semua wanita. peliharalah diri dan aurat kita. sesungguhnya kita adalah harta yang amat berharga dan dijaga dalam Islam.

wanita solehah mengatasi paras rupa

Sabda Rasullah s.a.w: “Dunia itu adalah kenikmatan dan sebaik-baik kenikmatan dunia ialah wanita yang solehah.” (Riwayat Muslim, Kitaab al-Ridha)

1. Agama merupakan faktor terpenting dalam mendapatkan kebahagiaan rumah tangga.

2. Wanita yang beragama sentiasa mentaati ALLAH dan Rasul-NYA. Menjaga maruah diri dan ibu bapa, menundukkan pandangan di hadapan lelaki yang bukan mahram, berusaha menuntut ilmu, memahami dan mengamalkan apa yang difahaminya.

3. Wanita yang terdidik dengan agama akan sentiasa memastikan dirinya bersih, kemas dan cantik. Dia sentiasa memelihara diri dan menutup aurat dari pandangan lelaki yang bukan mahram.

4. Melakukan aktiviti yang berfaedah.

~ Ilmu yang diterima bukan sahaja untuk faedah diri sendiri malah untuk ahli keluarga, sahabat dan masyarakat.

~ Dia tidak mudah dipengaruh oleh penyakit sosial yang sedang hebat melanda wanita lain di masa kini.

~ Dia banyak menghabiskan masa dengan beribadah, mendirikan solat, menuntut ilmu pengetahuan, berbakti kepada ibu bapa dan mengisi masa senggangnya dengan pelbagai jenis aktiviti berfedah yang lain.

~ Keinginan untuk menyintai dan dicintai yang merupakan fitrah manusiawi tidak pernah dinafikan. Namun, kepada ALLAH jualah dia meminta agar dipermudahkan jalan untuk menyintai dengan cara yang halal dan diredhai ALLAH.

Dalam al-Quran, surah al-Nur ALLAH memerintahkan agar wanita-wanita yang beriman menundukkan pandangan. Melalui sabda Rasulullah s.a.w pula, jelas bahawa baginda melarang berdua-duaan antara dua kaum yang berlawanan jenis kerana syaitan akan mencelah di antara mereka, lalu mendorong ke arah maksiat yang lebih besar, iaitu zina.

5. Mentaati ibu bapanya

Kedua ibu bapa ditaati dengan sepenuh hati sebagai memenuhi perintah ALLAH agar berbuat baik kepada mereka dalam perkara makruf.

Ini bersesuaian dengan perintah ALLAH yang berbunyi: “Dan tuhanmu telah perintahkan supaya engkau tidak menyembah melainkan pada-NYA semata-mata dan hendaklah engkau berbuat baik terhadap ibu bapa. Dan hendaklah engkau merendah diri kepada kedua-duanya kerana belas kasihan dan kasih sayangmu dan doakanlah (mereka, dengan berkata): Wahai TUHANku, cucurilah rahmat kepada mereka berdua sebagaimana mereka telah mencurahkan kasih sayang dalam memelihara dan mendidikku semasa kecil.” (Surah al-Israak: 23 – 24)

6. Redha dan syukur dengan apa yang ada

Harta benda bukanlah matlamat utama hidupnya. Jika dia diberikan kekayaan, dia bersyukur dan tidak sombong.

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w: “Sungguh mengkagumkan sifat orang mukmin. Apa saja keadaannya pasti baik. Ia tidak pernah dialami oleh siapa pun melainkan orang mukmin. Jika dia senang, dia bersyukur dan ia baik untuk dirinya. Dan jika dia susah dia bersabar dan itu baik untuk dirinya.” (Riwayat Muslim)

7. Wanita Solehah Adalah untuk Lelaki Mukmin ~

Segala ciri di atas menggambarkan betapa indahnya sifat wanita solehah. Dan alangkah bahagianya lelaki yang memiliki hati wanita ini.

Firman ALLAH S.W.T yang bermaksud: “(Kebiasaannya) wanita-wanita yang jahat adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang jahat. Lelaki-lelaki yang jahat juga adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang jahat. Dan sebaliknya wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang baik serta lelaki-lelaki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik.” (Surah al-Nur: 26)

8. Paras rupa bukanlah segala-galanya

 Firman ALLAH S.W.T yang bermaksud:
“Sesungguhnya seorang hamba perempuan yang beriman itu lebih baik daripada perempuan kafir musyrik sekalipun keadaannya menarik hati kamu.” (Surah al-Baqarah: 221)

9. Isteri adalah pemimpin di rumah suaminya

Wanita yang beragama berupaya mendidik anak-anaknya dengan sempurna. Dia tahu dan sedar bahawa dirinya adalah ketua di rumah suaminya.

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w: “Setiap kamu adalah pemimpin dan setiap orang akan ditanya terhadap apa yang dipimpinnya. Seorang imam adalah pemimpin dan akan ditanya terhadap apa yang dipimpinnya. Seorang suami adalah pemimpin keluarganya dan akan ditanya tentang apa yang dipimpinnya. Wanita adalah pemimpin di rumah suaminya dan akan ditanya tentang orang yang dipimpinnya. Setiap seorang kamu adalah pemimpin dan akan ditanya tentang apa yang dipimpinnya.” (Riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

Paling baik ialah memilih wanita yang mempunyai kedua-dua ciri yang dinyatakan di atas, iaitu cantik dan beragama. Perlulah berupaya menjaga maruah diri dan suami, menggembirakan hati suami, membina keluarga Islam yang harmoni dan membimbing keluarga menuju ALLAH.

Namun, jika seorang lelaki berada dalam keadaan di mana dia perlu memilih salah satu daripada di atas, dia hendaklah mengutamakan agama.

Wahai sahabatku, carilah lelaki yang mampu menjadi imam untukmu. Yang menitiskan air matanya melihat kesakitanmu ketika melahirkan zuriatnya. Dan lelaki yang membangunkanmu untuk beribadat bersama-sama di sepertiga malam. Jika pencarian itu telah engkau temui, jangan lupa bersyukur kepada-Nya. Jadilah permaisuri hatinya, peneman dikala suka dan duka, pengubat rindu dan lara. insyaAllah.. ^_^

dear girls..

as i do.. alhamdulillah :)
thanks to Allah for giving me an opportunity to meet him..
he's really changed my life.. :')

"What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful."
-Scott Westerfeld- 

my new SC group :)

assalamualaikum wbt..

alhamdulillah.. seha ada tanggungjawab baru yang Allah beri untuk jaga adik-adik tahun 1. dorang perlu banyak bimbingan dan tunjuk ajar. family baru yang sangat best dan sporting bagi seha. adik-adik SC sangat ceria dan comel belaka. dapat partner SC yang best jugak, kak Amalina dengan Farah Adiba. hee.. semoga kita sama-sama dapat pikul tanggungjawab ni, insyaAllah. :D

sorry lambat post pasal ni.. sangat busy beberapa hari ni. insyaAllah, busy yang bermanfaat. :)

perasmian SC dekat kuliah tigarah..

adik-adik tahun 1 yang sangat bagi kerjasama sebab sudi datang.. hee :)

ni my adik-adik SC tengah buat aksi gajah.. comel!! :D

sesi taaruf dengan adik-adik SC

siapa yang kalah main bola ukhwah kena bagi makan buah zaitun yang muda..

nasib adik-adik SC seha semua good girl..

tiada yang kalah kan kan.. :D

ni my SC group tengah main silang sayang.. best! :)

sumber foto: facebook PCI

my sweet new family..

love them all.. :D

may Allah bless!

men vs women

assalamualaikum wbt..

alhamdulillah, kita masih diberi kesempatan untuk hidup pada hari ini. mungkin Allah mahu memberi kita peluang untuk menambahkan amalan, mungkin juga Allah memberi kita peluang untuk bertaubat dan berubah. everyday is a gift from Him.. alhamdulillah. :)

ermm.. untuk entry kali ni, seha mau berkongsi ilmu yang seha dapat dari Lady's Garden atau taffaquh akhawat pagi tadi. kak Nor Syafiqah bentang buku 'Men from Venus, Women from Mars'. dari taffaquh ni, seha dapat faham belajar banyak benda pasal diri sendiri dan lelaki. why women act like this and why men act like that, why women feel that way and why men do that thing when he is stressed on something. secara jujurnya, seha dengar kak Nor explain baru seha faham maksud yang buku tu mau sampaikan. alhamdulillah.. :)

tapi jangan salah faham pula okay.. kita belajar memahami lelaki bukan hanya untuk persediaan berumah tangga nanti. dengan buku ni juga, kita dapat faham abah kita, abang kita, adik lelaki kita, orang yang kita perlu jumpa di tempat kerja contohnya pesakit seha nanti pun bukan perempuan saja mesti ada lelaki juga kan. so, buku ni sebenarnya sangat membantu kita memperbaiki communication skill dan cara kita berinteraksi dengan lelaki.

dalam buku ni ada 10 chapters dan insyaAllah seha akan cerita sedikit sebanyak apa yang seha dapat dari majlis ilmu tu lepas kak Nor sudah explain. tapi untuk entry kali ni, seha hanya cerita sikit saja. yang selebihnya kalau rajin, bacalah buku tu. :) seha gabung chapter 1 (tajuk buku) dan chapter 2, Mr Fix-It and the Home Improvement Committee.

first sekali, cara perempuan cope with stress tidak sama dengan cara lelaki handle their stress. kalau perempuan, dorang mau rasa diberi perhatian dan didengar. bila ada masalah atau stress, dorang mau luah dan didengar. dorang akan rasa happy dan lega lepas luah even lepas luahkan, masalah tu still belum selesai. tapi lelaki selalunya tidak faham. bila dengar perempuan luahkan masalah, lelaki akan try bagi solution. tapi sebenarnya perempuan tidak mahukan solution, dia hanya mahu didengar dan diberi perhatian. perempuan akan rasa sangat lega lepas luah, mungkin juga dia luahkan dengan menangis. depends dengan masalah yang dia hadapi.

perempuan juga akan melepaskan geram atau marah dorang dengan membebel, marah-marah. pernah tengok mak kita marah sebab rumah berselerak? bila mak kita marah macam tu, apa yang patut kita buat ialah diam dan dengar. jangan menjawab atau balas balik apa yang mak kita cakap. selalunya mak kita akan marah sambil tangan dia bergerak mengemas rumah. kita patut buat apa? duduk diam tengok mak kita mengemas? no no noo.. wrong! kita pun sambil dengar sambil lah tolong dia kemas sekali. lepas tu, percayalah, mak kita akan okay balik. mungkin siap masak makan malam special lagi.. hehe.. :D

hah.. ni lelaki pula, cara dorang cope with stress sangat berbeza. dorang tidak bising-bising macam perempuan. dorang akan diam, tapi otak dorang akan try fikir solution kepada masalah dorang. bagi lelaki, bila dorang luahkan masalah dorang dengan orang lain, dorang akan nampak lemah. lelaki tidak suka bila kita keep on asking him what's the problem sebab selagi masalah tu dia rasa dia boleh handle, dia akan buat sendiri. sebenarnya, lelaki mahu kita percaya dan yakin yang dia boleh handle family dengan usaha dia sendiri. so, let them be our heroes! :)

lagi satu, perasanka lelaki suka tengok berita, tengok perlawanan bola atau main game after kerja or study? tau kenapa dorang suka buat begitu? sebenarnya, lelaki akan cuba lupakan masalah kerja yang belum selesai dalam kepala dorang dengan cuba fokus kepada berita di tv. dalam fikiran dorang, dorang try bagi pendapat dan fikir solution untuk masalah negara, ekonomi, politik walaupun sebenarnya dorang tidak involve secara direct dengan benda tu. lelaki juga akan pergi main bola, main badminton atau apa-apa saja yang dapat buat dorang lupa sekejap masalah dorang di tempat kerja. contohnya, lepas main bola, group bola dia menang, lepas tu dia akan lebih bersemangat untuk sambung balik settlekan masalah di tempat kerja tadi. begitulah cara lelaki cope dengan stress dorang.

second point, perempuan adalah otak multi-tasking. perempuan boleh buat banyak benda dalam satu masa. contohnya, time masak, perempuan boleh lari kejap pergi jemur kain, lepas tu lari lagi pergi tengok anak dia, sambung masak balik, sempat lagi buat susu untuk anak dia. even sambil driving, perempuan boleh make up. trust me! sungguh lasak perempuan kan.. itulah kurniaan Allah pada perempuan, supaya perempuan dapat urus rumah tangganya dengan teratur. sebab tu ada perempuan dapat jadi suri rumah dan berkerjaya dalam satu masa.

okay.. now you trust me kan. :D

lelaki pula, otak dia hanya dapat fokus kepada satu benda. kalau time tu dia tengah kerja, dia akan fokus dan akan ignore kita. kalau dia study, dia akan study dan tumpu pada study dia tanpa buat benda lain. pernah dengar ayat, kalau lelaki stop main Dota hanya untuk reply mesej kamu, means lelaki tu betul-betul suka kamu. kenapa timbul ayat tu? sebab ni la, lelaki sebenarnya tidak dapat buat banyak benda dalam satu masa. kalau dia try buat lebih dalam satu masa pun, dia akan jadi confuse, pening dan mungkin jadi pemarah.

seha dapat kongsi setakat ini saja. semua tau, lelaki dan perempuan sangat berbeza. luaran sudah jelas berbeza, apa lagi dalaman. tapi bila gaduh, kenapa mesti menyalahkan antara satu sama lain sedangkan tahu pasangan kita itu jelas berbeza dengan kita. apa yang sama ialah rasa sayang. argue is not the solution.

 see.. we are different in every way that possible.

ermm.. apa yang seha dapat simpulkan ialah, try to accept the differences and respect each other. quote dari buku, 'when men and women are able to respect and understand their differences, then love has a chance to blossom'. semoga dapat memberi manfaat kepada kita insyaAllah. may Allah bless! :)